What is floodlighting, Gen Z’s latest dating trend turning first dates into therapy sessions?

Dating in 2025 has evolved with new trends, and one of the latest is floodlighting,a phenomenon where individuals overshare deeply personal details on a first date, often turning it into an unexpected therapy session.

What Is Floodlighting?

The term "floodlighting" was coined by author Brené Brown in The Power of Vulnerability. It refers to excessive sharing of personal emotions, traumas, or past struggles in an attempt to create intimacy or gain sympathy. However, rather than fostering connection, it often leads to discomfort and emotional withdrawal from the listener.

This trend gained traction on TikTok, where users discussed how some people disclose too much too soon,sharing heartbreak, childhood trauma, or mental health struggles in the first conversation. While vulnerability is important in relationships, experts warn that oversharing early on can be overwhelming and counterproductive.

Is floodlighting healthy?

Jessica Alderson, co-founder of So Synced, explained to Glamour that floodlighting involves “sharing a lot of personal details all at once to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.” However, rather than strengthening bonds, it can push the listener away.

A Forbes article also compared floodlighting to "trauma dumping," where an individual unloads emotional baggage onto someone unprepared for such intensity. Instead of fostering closeness, this often leads to discomfort and hesitation about future dates.

How to manage first dates?

While there’s no strict rulebook, experts suggest pacing personal disclosures for a balanced conversation:

• Keep it light: Start with common interests rather than deep traumas.
• Pause and reflect: Consider whether sharing personal details is necessary.
• Gauge comfort levels: Ensure your date is engaged and not overwhelmed.
• Avoid one-sided conversations: If someone dominates with excessive personal disclosures, it may be floodlighting.

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