'Stood on 19th floor...': Mohammed Shami's friend reveals pacer contemplated suicide

Mohammed Shami has experienced significant success in Indian cricket, achieving remarkable milestones such as being a key player in the Indian team's victorious Test series in Australia and putting up strong performances against England and South Africa on their home turf. He has consistently been India's top wicket-taker in the last three editions of the ODI World Cup, setting records as the fastest Indian to reach 100 ODI wickets and holding the record for the most consecutive four-wicket-hauls in the format.

However, Shami has also faced challenges both on and off the field. He has struggled with recurring injuries, personal issues involving his ex-wife, and the distressing accusation of match-fixing by his estranged wife Hasin Jahan. Jahan also accused Shami of domestic violence, leading to the BCCI suspending his central contract temporarily. This period marked the darkest chapter of Shami's career, prompting him to contemplate ending his life. Shami has openly discussed his struggles with suicidal thoughts, with his friend Umesh Kumar shedding light on the depth of his despair.

"Shami was fighting with everything during that phase. He lived with me in my house. But when the fixing allegations with Pakistan broke, and led to a probe that night, he was shattered. He said that I can tolerate everything but not allegations of betraying my country," Umesh said on Shubhankar Mishra's podcast 'Unplugged'.

"It also came in the news that he wanted to do something drastic that night [end his life]. It was around 4 AM in the morning when I got up to drink water. I was on my way to the kitchen when I saw that he was standing on the balcony. It was the 19th floor we were living in. I understood what happened. That night of Shami's career, I feel, was the longest. Later, one day, when we were talking, he got a message on his phone saying he got a clean chit from the committee that was investigating the matter. He was probably happier that day than he would have been if he had won a World Cup," he added.

During the panel discussion, Shami elaborated on his perseverance in the face of allegations, highlighting the reasons that fueled his determination to continue fighting for his life and career.

"It depends on what you prioritise more and then on the other person on how true his/her statements are. So when you know that the other person's actions are invalid and not important to you, you should not leave your priorities. If I had not been the Mohammed Shami, I am today, no one would have cared about my situation, and neither would the media be interested in it. Then why should I leave the thing that made me Shami. So you have to keep fighting," he said.

Shami is currently in the process of recovering from an ankle injury sustained during the ODI World Cup last year. It is anticipated that he will return to the field during the upcoming home Test series against either Bangladesh or New Zealand later this year.

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